We all need feedback.
We all need good, accurate, useful, sensory-based and reflective feedback that assists us in tuning up our skills and incorporating new response patterns. We can only make corrections or change when we know specifically what to change in order to move to the next level.
So how do you go about giving good feedback?
Well – here’s how we in Meta-Coaching do it… and it applies to every feedback situation, not just coaching!
1. Rapport-based
Establish respectful rapport. Are both you and the other person in resourceful states? Have you set a context of support that is genuine?
2. Outcome relevant
What is the person’s outcome, design or objective? Have you tied the feedback to the persons outcome?
For example… “In light of your desire to become more people-orientated as a manager, I noticed that you didn’t use anybody’s first name in the meeting today”
3. Tentative and seeking validation
Have you made the feedback tentative? Have you used open questions to encourage a response?
For example… “In view of the need to gain John’s input, you only paused for 2 seconds after requesting his thoughts. As he was scanning his notes, you asked him another question. I got the impression that he needed more time… Did you need more time?”
4. Timely
Was your feedback timely, while it was still fresh in the persons mind? Or did you wait an hour or two, a day, week, month?
5. Person/Style Distinct
Feedback is not about the person per se. It is simply an observation of behaviour in a particular context. Have you made that clear? Are you using neutral, non-judgmental words?
6. Helpful and Supportive
Invite the other person to recognise feedback as acceptable and valued. What values do you attach to feedback? How is it valuable to you and the other person?
7. Sensory Specific
Is your feedback completely in terms of what you had seen, heard, felt? Have you avoided personalising it by translating it into specific behaviours?
For example… “You have a nice way of quickly engaging the Board and setting the scene for the presentation.” Or “ It seemed to me that your use of the term ‘you guys’ may be too informal.”
By utilising highly effective feedback in sensory terms that relate to the outcome and delivered in such a way that the person can easy relate to the behaviour, there is a much greater opportunity for that person to learn, adapt, adjust and become more effective as a result.
How good can YOU be at giving good feedback?
Co-Authored with Michael L. Hall
