httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9LLZJFBWdc
There’s an old management joke that goes:
What’s the difference between performance reviews and a visit to the dentist for root canal work?
Anaesthesia!
We all need feedback. High quality feedback assists us in tuning up our skills and incorporating new response patterns. We can only make corrections or change when we know specifically what to change in order to move to the next level. This applies particularly to organisations and people within organisations. There is a tendency in most organisations to “keep the peace”, to just get along, not rock the boat. Executive teams are particularly liable to suffer as a result of getting only highly filtered and sanitised information rather than specific, actionable feedback.
So why is giving feedback such a challenge?
It’s a challenge because most feedback examples come from past experience – having been given feedback – and may relate all the way back to school and parental behaviours. Giving high quality feedback is not a skill that is widely taught!
To give some examples, feedback is not delivered well when:
It isn’t delivered at all
For example: “I meant to talk to you about the way you have been speaking to X, but the moment passed and it seems to be improving …”
It is delivered late, imprecisely or with mind reading
“Well, there was a mention about your communication style, but some people are just too sensitive. Anyway, I know you’re worried about how much is on your plate, and if the rest of the team had half your drive …”
It’s directed at the person instead of the behaviour:
“You are a poor leader, you have a history of bad management decisions and this is just the latest example.”
Is judgemental, criticism or a veiled threat:
“I think your failure to meet goals is becoming obvious to senior leadership and I’m beginning to think your skills aren’t exactly what you represented when we hired you”
Is not objective or actionable:
“Your performance has been disappointing and I think you need to pull your socks up!”
Whilst a person needs feedback, they do not need judgements, evaluations or mind-reading.
Feedback differs from evaluation in that the former is sensory based and behavioural whereas the latter is an imposed interpretation. Mind-reading, although sounding well intentioned, presupposes that you know exactly what the other person is thinking/feeling on the inside – which you simply cannot do. The more you rely on inner knowledge, intuition and feelings, the less skilful you will be in giving top-notch feedback
More on the precise steps to giving high quality feedback next time but in the meantime, just ask yourself:
What kind of feedback have I been giving?
